I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
