he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
