So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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