There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
