Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
