hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
