Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
