i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I would ride that face into the sunset
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize