so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize