Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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