Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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