planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
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