I feel like I'm in dance class right now
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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