similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize