9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
