Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
