...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
