I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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