i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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