just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I just got carded by a ten year old.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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