Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
It's just like the Real World with babies
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Randomize
