As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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