Grow some girl-balls and come out already
You're earring is so big in my mouth
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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