My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
