Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Pappa wants mamma naked
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Randomize
