That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize