they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
