winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
