Umm I'm too high to move.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
