Her vagina should come with caution tape.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
