He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
