Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
whose parrot is this?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
