He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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