Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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