I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
