the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
