So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize
