You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
We named our party play list daddy issues
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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