You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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