I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
you inspire me to be a worse person
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
