They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
