Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
