yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I'm always down for nudity.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
