That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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