The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I just want nice things and good sex
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
