How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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