I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
As shirtless as possible
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
