Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
try to milk me bitch
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