i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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