brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Randomize
