i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
you inspire me to be a worse person
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
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