True but thats because hes a fetus.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Randomize
