roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
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