"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
