guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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