Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
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