Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
