Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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