Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize