I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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