he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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