also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
