first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
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