ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
